


I'd Be A Monster For You

by pahfoo



Category: The 100
Genre: Character Study, Family, Protective Siblings, back on the ark, blakes as kids, kinda idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3576240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pahfoo/pseuds/pahfoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Bellamy had never thought he’d be a murderer."</p><p>In a way Bellamy was six years old when his life really began, with a burden and a promise that he never forgot.<br/>A Blake siblings fic, for the 'One year of the 100 challenge' on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Be A Monster For You

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeated so all mistakes are mine, but hopefully there won't be too many :)
> 
> Reviews are better than cookies!

_Your sister,_

_your responsibility._

His mom’s words echoed in his ears as he looked at the newborn baby. _His sister._ The little baby that had been inside his mom’s stomach was now out, and she was in his arms, and Bellamy realized it wasn't just a baby. It was a child and it was his sister. Bellamy had never had much that was just his, and he vowed that he would always take care of his baby sister, he promised that’d he’d never let anything happen to her.Right now she still had his finger in her mouth and she was suckling on it and looking up at him with big eyes. If eyes could smile, that is what they would look like, Bellamy thought. He got a funny feeling somewhere in his chest and he held on tight to his sister while his mom fell asleep next to him. Next to them. Augustus had had a sister and now Bellamy had too. For so long it had just been him and his mom, which really meant just him most of the time, but Bellamy wasn’t alone anymore.

\--

Bellamy had been up half the night trying to calm Octavia down after a nightmare and he was trying very hard not to fall asleep in history class. His teacher was talking, but he wasn’t really listening. He loved school, he really did, even though he didn’t like the other kids. They were always asking him questions, wanting to know why he spent so much time at home and why he didn’t have time to play and they’d say mean things about his mom. Some of them teased him too, _you don’t have a real dad,_ they’d say.  But Bellamy didn’t care, he didn’t need a dad, or friends, because he had Octavia and that was better than anything all the others had.

And even though Bellamy didn’t like the kids in school he still liked it there, he liked learning. So he was angry with himself for being so tired, especially in this lesson. History was his favourite subject. He knew that the school on the Ark had different kinds of lessons, than they did when people still lived on earth. Now they mainly had lessons that they thought would help the Ark, but the council also wanted everyone to know history. At least some of it. Bellamy had found an old history book in the back of a classroom a few months ago. It was about the Russian Revolution, and when he asked about it, his teacher had refused to tell him anything. He probably would have taken the book away too, but Bellamy had already hidden it. His mother said the Council didn’t want to give people any ideas. He wasn’t sure exactly what those ideas were, but it didn’t matter much to him, because they learned all sorts of interesting stuff anyway. Bellamy loved hearing about the old kings and emperors. They could do whatever they wanted. They didn’t go hungry ever and most importantly; they had power. Power to protect and care for their family and the people they loved. Bellamy wished he was a king.

In the front of the class the teacher was still talking, and Bellamy tried to focus.

“Augustus was also called Octavian and he was the considered the first roman Emperor..”

Bellamy perked up. His mom had told him lots about Augustus. Augustus and his sister Octavia. But he didn’t know that he was also called Octavian, that was almost the same name as his sister. Suddenly Bellamy felt a lot less tired, excitement rushing through him, at the thought of learning something new he could tell Octavia. She wasn’t allowed to go to school, so Bellamy had to make sure she learned as much as he did. That washis job, and his responsibility.

-

He was a cadet now, almost a guard. It was still far off from being in any position of real power, but his rations were slightly bigger and people tended to respect him more, when he was wearing his uniform. Many of the Ark’s guards were feared, they were the enforcers of the strict laws governing life aboard the spaceship. Bellamy had no ambition of becoming feared, but the more intimidating he looked the less likely people were to pry into his life, and he had to do what he could to keep Octavia save and happy.

When he heard of the party that was planned for that evening’s moonrise he couldn’t help but wish he could bring his sister to experience it. There was no way though, if anyone found about her, his mom would be floated, his sister at the very least locked up, and he’d lose his job and maybe his life.

He had resigned himself to the reality that Octavia would never be able to leave their room, or meet anyone but her family, she would never have friends or get to go to a party or do anything that other teenagers got to do. It was so _fucking_ unfair and it was killing Bellamy that he couldn’t do anything about it. He wanted to kick something, but his rage was stopped short when he noticed movement on the other end of the corridor he was stationed in.

Two guards were walking towards him, deep in conversation and snippets of their voices drifted over to him.

“It’s a shame really. Those masks will hide all the pretty faces won’t they?”

“Ah, don’t worry, I’m sure you can find something else to look at...”

The guards laughed and normally Bellamy would have had to reign in his anger at this point, but his mind was stuck on one word the guard had uttered.

Masks? _Masks!_ His mind was in overdrive, a plan already forming, but he had to be sure.

“Excuse me!” Bellamy croaked out, addressing the guards now walking right past him, forgetting he was on duty.

\---

Now Bellamy was standing in front of one of the senior guards, a bulky and sweaty man, with a little greying moustache and small cruel eyes, and he had to try very hard not let his dislike show, as the guard talked.

“Well boy I frankly don’t see any reason to do you any favours, you don’t have anything I want. Now your mother on the other hand…”

Bellamy gritted his teeth, exercising all his self control, so as to not pounce on the other man. This was his only change. He kept his expression neutral and replied:

 _“_ Please sir, **I** will owe you. My rations, I’ll take your shifts for you..”

Bellamy pleaded and pleaded, and he had the distinct feeling the other man was enjoying seeing him beg. Eventually though he gave in and thrust the little metal mask into Bellamy’s hands.

“You owe me boy!” He growled and jabbed Bellamy hard in the chest with a fat finger before he turned around and left.

Later while he stood with the mask in his hands Bellamy contemplated that he had just promised an unknown favour to a man known to take advantage of others, but as he imagined Octavia’s face at receiving the news, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

-

Bellamy put his cleaning supplies back in the closet and locked the door preparing to head home. A bunch of kids in masks hurried past him chattering excitedly. Bellamy furrowed his brow. _It was late, what were they_.. but then he remembered. There was a moonrise party tonight and the council was all of a sudden wild on masquerades. Something in him clenched painfully and suddenly he could not stand the sight of those happy kids. A small brunette teenage girl ran past him, her laughter bringing up the memory of a different brunette. Bellamy wished he had some alcohol, but that was not something a janitor with a criminal family easily got his hands on. Although he supposed he could trade some of his rations away, he hadn't gotten used to having a whole food ration for himself yet.

He made his way towards his quarters, keeping his head down trying to ignore the parties going on, trying not to think about the last time he was surrounded by music and laughter. Bellamy had kept to himself since that night, but then again he had never tried to reach out before, always too scared someone would find out about Octavia.  He'd never really minded not having friends though, his sister had always been enough for him. She had been his playmate, and a better listener than anyone else could have been, desperate to learn more, of the ark and of the earth.

Bellamy's mouth twitched at the thought of Octavia, six years old, demanding him to 'do the tiger' and he'd chase her round the little room they called home, laughing at her thrilled screams, until his mother told them to keep it down. Octavia at age 10, reading an old school book he'd managed to bring back home, looking up at Bellamy with tears in her eyes, asking him if he was going to get married and leave them. Octavia, almost 14, pretending not to be scared, but still shaking at every inspection, still bringing her teddy with her under the floor, still holding his hand at night. Octavia, 16 years old, excited at the prospect of finally leaving the room which had been her prison for her whole life, and terrified in-between two guards, her freedom snatched away.

Octavia, 17 years old, locked in the skybox, was not something Bellamy could, or wanted to imagine. Prison was not a new thing for his sister, he knew that, but she had never been alone. He had always tried to be there for her, make it easier, if just a little bit, but now she was alone, and it was his fault.

  
-

Bellamy had never thought he’d be a murderer. Even as a guard he had always felt like he was better than the others somehow, like even though he was part of a group that locked people up, even brought them to their execution, it didn’t count because he didn’t want to. He was just doing it to help his family, he’d tell himself. What a bunch of bullshit really, he had never been any better than them. And now he was about to become worse.

Bellamy knew now, hastening towards the Chancellors chambers, once again in a guard’s uniform and a gun in his holster, that it didn’t matter why you did things. It only mattered that you did it. None of this changed anything though. He didn’t know why the prisoners were being sent to earth. He didn’t know why Commander Shumway wanted Jaha dead. He didn’t care. All he knew was that Octavia was locked up because of him, and now she was being sent to a possibly deadly and radiation soaked earth. Because of him. Well there was no way in hell she was going alone.

So when Bellamy knocked on Jaha’s door, gun ready behind his back, he convinced himself that he was in the right. _This man killed my mother,_ he thought, _killed her and locked my sister up. He’s broken dozens of family’s, sentenced so many people to die. He deserves to die._ He knew that he was lying though; he knew that none of these things had anything to do with why he was now standing here, gun in his hand. And when he pulled the trigger it was Octavia’s face, scared and youthful, the mask hanging around her neck, that he saw, and when Jaha fell, it was his sister being pulled away by guards and when he turned and ran it was the sight of the empty room that had been his home for so long, that was on his mind.

-

The fight was raging all around them, sounds of swords clashing and screams of pain, but it all faded away as Bellamy saw his sister hugging the grounder, his hand tenderly cupping her face. He knew that he couldn’t get Octavia safely all the way to the Dropship, and when the grounder, Lincoln, looked at him Bellamy knew that he was asking for permission, and he also knew that they had no choice. He had tried his whole life to keep Octavia safe. His life, from the day his sister was born, had been about protecting her, but now he had to trust someone else with her safety.

“I need you to live.” He said and he knew that as long as she was safe, even if he wasn’t with her, he would be okay. So he ignored the voice of his mother in his head (y _our sister -  your responsibility_ ) while he embraced Octavia, and hoped that the traditional parting words of the Ark, could be not just a wish, but a promise.

They would meet again. He would make sure of it.

-

But when Bellamy realised the gun he’d picked up had no ammo and the grounder was raining his fists on him, he felt a lot less sure. He could taste blood in his mouth and he thought of Lincoln carrying Octavia away. He had tried so hard to protect her. To protect everyone, but he couldn’t do anything now. He’d told Lincoln to keep her safe, and he put all his hope in him now, knowing it was out of his hands, as he hit the forest ground hard.

Then the grounder feel, a bullet in him, and Bellamy remembered his words to Octavia. _I got this._ And he launched himself into the fight again.

-

Bellamy’s mind was racing, trying to find an alternative, a way to spare the innocents of Mount Weather and still save their people. There had to be a way. But his mind went black, and his heart almost stopped at the sight of his sister being dragged into the room.

He remembered his mother’s words all those years ago.

_Your sister,_

_your responsibility_

And suddenly there was no doubt in his mind. Octavia might have grown up, and be capable of protecting herself, but Bellamy would never forget the promise he made when she was born. He would not let anything happen to her, no matter the cost.

So he put his hand on Clarke’s and they pulled the lever, and around his sister children died and Bellamy recalled a baby crying and he knew that this was the cost and he knew that he would do it again, to save her.

 


End file.
